PmWiki | SAGXCOM / SAGXCOM

Hollywood. 1947.

Decades have passed since Marvin Acme revealed to the world the development known as "Toon Town", and brought the cartoon industry into being. The species known as Toons, the first nonhuman intelligences we have ever encountered, have become a common sight on the streets, making their way in the world the same as we do.

Mostly the same as we do. The common Toon's casual disregard for physics as we know it can be offputting to the inexperienced observer, seeing anvils dropped on them only for a squashed toon to wriggle their way loose from beneath, or explosions that would reduce a man to a fine red mist merely coating them with soot. It was no wonder given their incredible physical resilience that our great nation was all but foaming at the mouth to recruit toons to fight in the second World War. The valiant heroism displayed was such that even the most ardent of detractors was forced to admit that while we might not know where they came from (Marvin Acme has given an entirely different story every time he has been asked), the toons have ben a benefit to entertainment, to society, to America itself.

The first hints to the contrary came from archaeologists, the discovery of ancient crystal zoetropes which had been used to conjure and bind primeval toons, little more than stick figures, but capable of all the terrifying feats we have come to know. The toon has always sought to entertain. To entertain humanity, yes, but also to entertain a being beyond comprehension, someone, someTHING further outside even the distended reality we have grown used to, that we know only as "He Who Laughs." Most toons at least claim to be unaware of him, but ancient writings describe a massacre of every then surviving toon to delay the entry of He Who Laughs into the world. Every chuckle, every guffaw, every titter draws him closer, with eventual consequences we cannot imagine.

We should have been more careful. We should have asked how a judge, any judge, let alone the man elected to be circuit judge of Toon Town, one Rottonius Doom was funding archaeological expeditions, how he knew where to send them to discover these hidden truths, or the fatal weakness of toons to solvents. We blithely assumed that there was only one abomination seeking to penetrate the bariers that keep reality real.

Edward Valiant defeated Judge Doom in single combat, turning his own weapon of execution, called The Dip against him. For Judge Doom was in fact also a toon, a toon who in his final moments triumphantly revealed that he was only the beginning of an offensive against He Who Laughs, in the name of He Who Screams. We will not make the same mistake of assuming that these two are all the entities interested in devouring our precious existence.

Reality has begun to break down. Caves have been discovered on Catalina Island which lead impossibly to New Zealand, to Easter Island, to Tahiti. Toon Towns have appeared in Paris's Musee Grevin, in Tokyo, in Rio de Jeneiro, in Jonestown. We have thus far been unable to convince the nations hosting them of the dangers these developments pose, so fixated are their governments on the economic benefits of an immortal, untiring, nigh indestructible workforce.

Thus far our attempts at infiltration have been met with failure. The first deliberate human to toon conversion, performed on one Jessica Fontaine, seemed to create the perfect spy, but she 'went native', marrying another toon and forswearing all previous loyalties.

We are the first, last, and only line of defense for our ailing world. We are the Screen Actors' Guild: Xenoform Committee for Obstructive Malfeasance. You came to Hollywood to make a name for yourself, to become famous beyond compare. We cannot give you that. But with SAG:XCOM, you will walk among stars.

Known Factions

SAG:XCOM

The thin varicoloured line. Initially comprised solely of actors of stage and screen disgruntled with toons moving into what they saw as their industry and supported by Judge Doom, it has grown into a fullblown paramilitary organization as the horrible truths about their now deceased founding supporters and enemies have been discovered.

Comedy

The knowing, and unknowing servants of He Who Laughs, both toon and human, ultimately answering to the toon-reincarnated form of Marvin Acme, high priest of He Who Laughs.

Tragedy

Those who believe Judge Doom was the only servant of He Who Screams are regarded as either idiots or saboteurs. While the products of Toon Town in Hollywood have been almost exclusively comedic in nature, the same cannot be said of those rents in the fabric of reality that have occurred elsewhere. It is suspected that the counterpart to Marvin Acme, the unkknown high priest of He Who Screams resides in Paris, as the Musee Grevin's cartoon output has been heavily tragic in tone.

Edward Valiant

While overtures to Mr Valiant by SAG:XCOM have been frequent after the demise of Judge Doom, the organization remains tainted in his eyes by long association with the being who murdered his brother. He investigates on no authority but his own, and is regarded as something of a hero by the toons of Hollywood, having saved Toon Town from destruction at Judge Doom's hands. He can occasionally be a source of information, but should under no circumstances be trusted to have any sense of loyalty to cause or country. In his own words, "You gotta have a heart before you can have an attack."

Shubbies

The precise origins and goals of this religious group are unknown at present. They seem to be mostly harmless, and are found on street corners everywhere in the world, wearing brightly coloured robes and togas, singing and dancing. They will give free food and handwritten scriptures to anyone who will accept either, the former having earned them a fair degree of acceptance, even popularity in the ever tightening economy. The only common thread among the scriptures is the holiness of the goat, and an emphasis on the importance of family. They seem benign, but we made that mistake once before with the toon menace, and will not be caught off guard again.

The Lost Boys

Jessica Rabbit-nee-Fontaine was the first successful human to toon conversion ever performed. Survivors of the early experiments are something else, something in between, consumed with the desire for revenge against those they see as having betrayed them, namely, us. Their exact numbers and capabilities are unknown, as it is believed that they have been forcefully inducting new members into their sewer-dwelling clandestine community.

Technology

The success of the ACME corporation proved to the world the utility of harnessing toon technology at least for the amusement, if not the betterment of mankind. The thin end of the wedge. A necessary evil for our purposes, as harming a toon of any persuasion with conventional weaponry has proven all but impossible. Judge Doom pioneered the use of 'dip', a cocktail of solvents universally destructive to toon flesh, but the substance is sufficiently toxic as to endanger human users as well. Despite this, dip 'splash grenades' are commonly issued to SAG:XCOM combat operatives.

At great risk, we have stolen and duplicated Marvin Acme's "multiplanar camera" technology for bringing toons to life in order to attempt to create toons who are loyal not to laughter or screams or tears, but who identify with and are committed to the survival of the human race. This endeavour has met with limited success. The production of 'toon objects' has been simple enough, but we have been unable to imbue them directly with the vital spark of life. Thus we began to experiment with human to toon conversion.

Yes, we committed atrocities in our labours to defend mankind, and would gladly do so again! The refined and stable process involves the creation of a 'hollow' toon body, and the enclosure of a human donor in a sensory deprivation tank on life support equipment for upwards of five days. This acclimatization period weeds out those who would be driven insane by the sensorial shift from transplanting their brain into the toon body. Similarly, creating human, or at least, human shaped toon bodies likewise increased both the transplantation survival rate, and the post-surgical loyalty of the resulting toon once the body integrated and absorbed the donor brain. Such toons are useless for covert operations, as their instincts and behaviours remain all too human, but they gain the additional strength and resilience of the toon body, which has proven vital in combating the agents of chaos. Be aware that should you be offered the opportunity to undergo this process, it is so far as we are aware, irreversible.