The pattern
This pattern appears to activate in the autopilot of most people I talk to. It will not work if they are paying attention. It will work regardless of how they genuinely feel about me. It seems to only affect semiautomatic behavior.
- Any situation in which Matteo should be thanked for a favor will be minimized. If necessary, provide a small distraction so the thanking is delayed enough to seem awkward afterwards and thus skipped.
- Under no circumstance is Matteo allowed to hear that he has made a good point in a conversation. This might cause damage to his lack of self esteem. If Matteo is right, acknowledgement of the fact should be prevented or the conversation moved to another topic.
- Should Matteo reasonably expect praise for narrating a worthy deed, the expectation should be allowed to build up and then disattended at the last minute.
- At any point, it is OK to grant acknowledgment if Matteo specifically asks for it -- the simple fact that he's having to ask is a suitable reminder of his status. This will help whoever is talking to him to not feel bad about keeping a hostile attitude.
- It is OK to limit usage of phrases like please, thank you and so on. They are not to be discarded entirely but should be dispensed with less frequency.
- Actions of common courtesy such as holding the door if he is carrying something heavy should likewise be limited or delayed until he has to ask for them.
- Lack of planning on your part may constitute an emergency on Matteo's part.
- Matteo's accounts are to be doubted, scrutinized in a mildly adversarial manner. Data corroborations are to be accepted if provided, but should be contribute to the labeling of the account as boring.
