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Book 8: Kingdom Come (liveblog)

Liveblogging of Kingdom Come by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins (F) by: Lawful Good Wonk

In this scenario, CATS has failed; this is a liveblog of the book that forms the basis of the Left Beyond game world.

I'm going to do something different here. I'm going to liveblog my thoughts as I read this book, instead of writing a simple review at the end.

Why? Well, because these books are so consistently terrible that it's probably easier to just make a giant list of every thing that bothers me than to try to recall it all when I'm done reading it. After reading Slacktivist's work for a couple years and undertaking my own attempt at telling this story, I'm not so much passively reading this work of fiction like I would any other book. I'm delving yet deeper into the mindset of the PMD strain of Evangelical Christianity, a subject that (as evidenced by how slowly Slacktivist is making his way through the series) is complex and myriad in all its facets. Lots of questions are raised by this series, lots of problems, and I don't want this to be another episode like The Ten Princes, letting it rattle around in my head for a week before I return here to purge it all from my mind.

I'm not going to go into much detail about what's happened in the series so far. I'm not going out of my way to explain who characters are. So if you haven't read the series, just skip this. It might just get confusing.

So let's begin:

KC starts with a message from LaHaye, trying to justify the entire superfluous affair. This book has no reason to be. One would think that in a world where Jesus is living and breathing everyone would meet him. People would make trips to Jerusalem, something like the Hajj that has to be performed at least once in your lifetime. How could there be unbelievers? People rejecting him, maybe, but once people start dying at age 100 for no discernible reason, self-preservation would take over, no? So that's the first major problem this book is facing: presenting a realistic villain(s).

But there's a prophecy, there's something in Revelation about Satan getting one last chance before everyone goes up to Heaven. Which is the entire driving force of the plotting of the series: there's something on the list, we need to touch upon it and get it out of the way. Nevermind if it makes sense dramatically, nevermind trying to rationalize how this would actually play out in real life, nevermind trying to come up with an interesting story using this or that idea as a starting point. Just do it and move on.

After the note the book recaps/copies the end of Glorious Appearing, when Jesus has returned and summoned everyone to Jerusalem.

-It's been a few years since I raced through the first dozen volumes (a backhanded compliment: at least they read fast and don't take up too much of your time). After just a couple pages I'm struck at how L/J try to shoehorn in Biblical-sounding speech or (more arrogantly) 'evidence' that their interpretation is The Real One, such as when Gabriel reads from Revelation (because even holy beings read the Bible the same way LaHaye does, right?).

-Jesus pulls out Matthew 25:35-46 ("For I was hungry..."), which is all about deeds rather than faith, which is the opposite of the "faith not deeds" theology of LaHaye. It would seem out of place here, except He only recites part of the quote, using it as yet one more way to lambast the non-believers right before sending them to hell. He never bothers to thank the believers for helping the poor, the hungry, the sick etc.; apparently doing good deeds doesn't matter, but not doing good deeds is bad. Or something.

-As all the believers sit around for literally days, Jesus speaks to each of the 'heroes' of the Old Testament. They explicitly mention people like Gideon and Jephthah, people known for waging war and human sacrifice. Yet at the end Jesus gives a little speech praising them all for suffering oppression and keeping faith. It's not odd that L/J would play up the "believers always suffer oppression" angle, but that they gloss over the violence part. The appeal of the Left Behind series to most evangelicals is that it's a vicarious, religious version of Red Dawn; waging a guerilla war against the Antichrist and his secular humanist legions. No guilt over killing anyone (because it's just like war, right?), and some of the characters fantasized at length about having the privilege of assassinating the Antichrist halfway through the Tribulation.

The Jesus of the Left Behind series is not a man of peace, and L/J write as if committing violence can be a holy act if it's done in God's name. So yeah, I'm surprised we don't get to see Jesus say to Chaim (the guy that killed the Antichrist) "Well done, My good and faithful servant. Your blade struck true and smote My enemy."

-Ah! Explicit mention that the Old Testament figures would be living in the Millennial Kingdom and people would 'mingle' with them. So getting back to the question I raised above, how does this not work with people meeting Jesus?

-The 'prologue' is just a reprinting of the end of the last book, and then there's a couple diversions (not fiction, just LaHaye explaining what's going on) about a 75-day interval between Jesus returning and the start of the Millennium, and one about the Millennial Kingdom itself. Selective quotes from Daniel (not entire chapters, just pairs or trios of verses from here and there) and speculation on what life will be like in the brave new world.

The speculative part includes mention of Jesus rebuilding the entire world (since He's going to squash it flat at the end of the Tribulation), how life at first will be nothing but worship while the world is rebuilt, and then a description of the bigger and better Jerusalem LaHaye imagines will be constructed.

Other things mentioned:

-We'll have to build our own houses. Fair enough, but I know that if the world's population was suddenly cut down dramatically I'd take advantage and get some primo beachside property right away. Would that be an option here or would I have to live in/near Jerusalem?
-Everyone's going to become vegan. We just won't have taste for meat. I prefer the Simpsons' version of the Garden of Eden: just grab a hunk of pig and it comes off as ready-to-eat bacon or pork chops. Either that or...
-The start of the Millennium is just going to be worshipping, building houses, and tending crops. God will give us the knowledge and ability to do this stuff, just like that. Also, He will apparently give us the desire to do so, in LaHaye's words. That... is a bit puppeteerish to me. Would our minds still be our own in any real sense?

Now onto the book proper, the actual fiction.

Pg. 1-2: Animals are now tame and cows give up their milk no problem. But I thought cows had to be pregnant to be lactating? Am I getting that wrong? Or were cows designed by God as a source of milk for humans (and in this new Garden of Eden all cows are ready to give milk 24/7), which raises the question of where lactose intolerance comes from.

Pg. 2: Rather than start a fire to roast some vegetables, Rayford has to create a device with a magnifying lens to prepare them. Part of that "new knowledge" thing just mentioned, I guess? But really, no more campfires?

Pg. 2: Buck seems to have realized it's ridiculous to insist people call him by the nickname he picked out for himself (that's my theory, at least), so it's back to Cameron. Or CamCam for short.

Pg. 3-4: So there's no marriage in the MK, which includes all pre-existing relationships. L/J just drop in the idea that pre-existing couples (like CamCam and Chloe) still "want to be near" each other (no, not in that way) but their only desire now is to worship Jesus. Their relationship is strictly platonic.

If we want to take this idea to an extreme, we could call it something akin to lobotomization. Their mind has been changed radically, their emotions tuned a different way. The love and passion they must have felt when they were alive is gone, muted to a "Let's sit next to each other as we focus all our attention on a new third party." Yet the most attention this warrants is a page and a half of Chloe and CamCam saying exactly what LaHaye thinks people will act like in the MK. No introspection on how different their minds are compared to what it was like before this, barely any self-awareness of it it seems.

And the dialogue is stilted as hell. Apparently colloquial English won't make it to the MK, because this is how CamCam says 'We need to raise our son right and make sure he comes to Jesus on his own':

It reminds me of the part of Rapture Ready! talking about Christian fiction and magazines aimed at teeens, ending with a bit from a series of books written by (if I remember correctly) James Dobson, featuring two teenagers talking like no human on Earth has ever talked.

Pg. 4-5: Chloe and CamCam mention to each other that they're going to have "multitudes of children" to raise, in addition to their own son. Apparently this includes many of the children born post-Rapture whose parents didn't make it into the MK.

"One morning" (when?) CamCam sees a bunch of children playing with his son, walks over to them, and all the kids just sit down and ask to be told about Jesus. CamCam prays, asking where to start, and receives a direct answer from Jesus Himself. So he and Chloe start teaching these children who, according to the book, don't fidget or get distracted or behave like children in real life.

OK: 1) The children acting like little automatons waiting to have programming installed just raises that "lobotomy" question again. From the viewpoint of L/J and others like them I assume all the changes in behavior in the MK is the result of being cleansed of sin or reborn or something along those lines. But they present it (or maybe they actually view it) as if it's just a matter of having some vestigial part of your mind taken out. A mental/spiritual appendectomy.

It's hard to not see this as disturbing. Hard to not think of Randle McMurphy at the end of Cuckoo's Nest.

Another way of looking at this would be as a form of growth, putting away childish things like ego and selfishness. But unlike how Buddhism might make the growth contingent on the individual achieving it themselves, here it is, for want of a better word, forced upon them. LaHaye would probably say something like "When you give yourself to God you put yourself fully in His hands, to change you as He wishes." Which is logical enough, but it's still disturbing. I'm not going to argue that God should accept us as we are, but there's a HUGE difference between encouraging someone to grow and taking part of their psyche away from them.

2) Jesus talks to CamCam. Jesus talks directly to CamCam, from miles away, answering his prayers directly and immediately .

That, ladies and gentlemen, is a game changer. In a series built entirely on a sequence of events that defy our current understanding of the world and what is or is not possible, this takes the cake.

Jesus is answering prayers personally. No abstract signs, no visions of Mary in an oil slick, no straining to say this or that natural disaster was a Sign From God. Actual words, perceived clearly.

Again, I ask, how can there be anyone in the MK who does not come to Jesus? If the fact that the animals are all tame, crops are plentiful, peace reigns, there is no wealth or poverty, no lack of anything... if all that wasn't enough to make the world a new Garden of Eden, a place without temptation or greed, you have on top of it God in human form walking amongst you.

The only thing I can think of, the only reason Satan would have any power in this world, is that some people would bristle at the idea of praising Jesus because... they don't like to be controlled? They want to set their own destiny? That can be a bit nuanced, if this is what L/J are leading up to, and I don't think they have it in them to do justice to such an idea.

My guess? The people turning bad will Just Be Bad. They're innately evil, tuned to the Dark Side, and that's that. The prophecy says some people will reject Jesus, L/J say, so some people reject Jesus. Nevermind their rationale, nevermind the idea of them trying to justify their actions.

We'll see how it turns out.

3) Almost forgot: CamCam decides to call the kids 'Children of the Tribulation' or COT. Because... I don't know. I just don't know. The name 'Tribulation Force' was a bit of ego-pumping for the characters at the start of the series ("Yeah, we're the Tribulation Force! We're going to kick ass and take names and stop the Antichrist! By...not really doing anything."). But why the fuck do you have to give a group of kids a name like that? Does CamCam already know that Satan is going to come back, and he's going to prepare these kids to become warriors for God or something?

Are these people still that obsessed with feeding their egotistical idea that they're going to wage a holy war even when Earth is now at peace ?

Pg. 7-9: Irene tells the story of the marriage between Christ and the church, which in the Gospels is a parable, but which here actually happened. Yes, God the Father officiated a wedding between Jesus and all the believers up to the point of the Rapture.

This is just another notch in LaHaye's literal interpretation belt, going so far as to have Ray reflect that when Jesus told the parable originally, it was meant as prophecy. Again, holy beings stating exactly what LaHaye believes, 'proving' that he's right and anyone who disagrees is wrong.

Pg. 10: A single verse from Daniel without context CLEARLY STATES that something will happen on Day 30 of the 75 day period before the MK actually starts:

Well L/J have already said that the sun and the moon shine so much brighter because of Jesus' presence that it's essentially day 24/7. So yeah, I think after a month of that people would notice the sky going black and might maybe wonder what was going on.

Pg. 14: Jesus has remade the world, the 75 days are over, and everyone's gathering the new temple for a feast. Jesus begins speechifying and says

How how how are national boundaries still a concern in the MK? This is all tribal bullshit going backwards thousands of years. God can't move on from arbitrary divisions separating people, even after He's reclaimed the Earth?

Pg. 15:

<monotone>Look. Trees. They are beautiful.</monotone>

In the first Narnia book Aslan sings the universe into existence, and Lewis describes the feeling of the people watching this, their actual emotions and wonder at this miraculous event. Here, Jenkins bluntly says "There is beauty. Ray is overcome." Yes, the world has been remade by Jesus into something grander and purer than what it once was, and Jenkins can't summon anything better than "There are cypress trees. A lot of them."

Pg. 23:

That's Jesus explaining why there are still sacrifices even though His crucifixion was meant to be a final and total blood sacrifice. After several pages of explaining the layout of the new temple Jesus explains that the Israelites still have to carry on these rituals, even though they, one would assume, have been redeemed and reborn like everyone else who has made it to the MK.

In other words, the Jews are singled out by Jesus for their transgression when everyone else has been forgiven. How could you possibly think this series is anti-Semitic?

Pg. 29-30: The Biblical David bewails his sins and Jesus tells him he's forgiven. Note that this is taking place after the 75 day period, which came after Jesus met all the 'heroes of the Old Testament,' as the authors called them. Shouldn't David had been repenting back then?

But hey, we needed another case of a Biblical/holy figure mouthing the words of LaHaye. Because it's not enough that David actually did repent in the Bible (after being called out for stealing another man's wife and having him killed). No, we need to see him do it in a Christian setting, I guess.

Pg. 30-31: Not to harp on this, but Jesus Himself now mentions that people will come to Him to learn. So again, how is Satan gaining any power in this world? It's an illogical outcome and again, I don't have faith in L/J making it work.

Pg. 31: This whole section of Jesus showing off the temple and talking about the sacrifices to be made seems to be based on what Jesus actually said or what is written in the Bible that LaHaye takes to be prophecy. No plot yet, the characters aren't doing anything. Just a huge infodump that, I admit, I don't know how else to present. Other than to maybe skip all the exposition and get to the part where people are doing stuff like building the new cities of the MK or whatever.

Pg. 33-34: Sooner than I expected, L/J bring up the fact that everyone in the MK is a true believer or will be raised in a world where Jesus is alive and well. Not only that, but apparently everyone will go to meet Jesus at some point in their life, making it hard to picture people rejecting him.

Also, people will die at 100 if they don't convert, which the authors admit makes it difficult for Satan to build up an entire army.

Pg. 35: Again with the divisions of people: the power structure of the MK has gentiles on the bottom and Israelites above them. Why God would still keep to ethnic or national boundaries just escapes me.

Pg. 36: Throughout the series L/J would have a character mention one of the prophesied events of Revelation and then have it happen. Not so much foreshadowing as blunt foretelling. Now this book so far has been one of the characters remarking on some bit of prophecy about what the MK would be like, and then the narrator describing, yes, exactly that. So an obscure Biblical reference to a Highway of Holiness demands a mention of how the road the characters are walking on as they leave the temple is a symbol of the purity of the kingdom's infancy.

And no, this process doesn't work as a literature. It's halting, it's distracting, it reveals nothing of the characters and does not advance the plot.

Pg. 37: An offhand reference to CamCam showering. So wait, plumbing still works? So when, at the end of the Tribulation, the entire world was smooshed by giant boulders none of the pipes or waterways were affected? The water treatment plants and other infrastructure for utilities? Wha?

Pg. 37: The characters are constantly described as happy, joyous, elated, whatever. But it's never explained what they are actually feeling , just what they are . Joy is not a simple condition, it's a complex state of being. It ebbs and flows, something causes it, it affects the person or the people around the person. Emotions are like living things, yet in the book we're simply told, time and again, that the characters are happy, much in the same way we would be told this character is a male or that character is Asian.

The entire problem, I think, is that L/J are not simply world-building with this book. They're not creating a galaxy far, far away or a world of four elemental nations, fictitious places that still resemble the real world in terms of terrain or populations. And they're definitely not using a real life setting like Baltimore, someplace with history and character already molded over decades/centuries and which effortlessly comes across as real. A solid place which is as much a character of the story as any human.

No, they have to create a new Jerusalem from the ground up (using whatever prophecies LaHaye believes are meant to be applied to the MK) where all the rules are changed because God is now walking the Earth, ruling over a people who have been reborn and remade on a fundamental level. A new world with new people, so different from any fantasy or science-fiction or historical story has ever conjured.

And they're not up to the task. They don't have the imagination or vision to adequately explain how the earthly presence of Jesus, even when felt from miles away, affects a person the way no narcotic, no mix of endorphins and psychotropics, possibly could. How it rewrites neural connections and sieves the spirit of all base thoughts or desires, how it gives a person new eyes and a new heart. Even a basic analogy, something like 'the old earthly love compared to the new divine love the way a match compared to the sun,' is too much to expect of L/J.

It could be that because L/J believe this is something that will actually come to pass they blanche at the idea of trying to nail down just what it will exactly be like. I've seen Heaven defined as something beyond mortal comprehension, something outside the range of our vocabulary or emotional spectrum. But if that was the case, why didn't LaHaye mention it in his introduction? Just say "This is a tale speculating what will someday come, and because what it predicts is beyond our limited human understanding, we can only provide an incomplete picture of it. Any attempt to describe the kingdom of Jesus would by definition fall short, and Jerry and I acknowledge our own shortcomings in this book."

Would that have been too much?

Pg. 38-39: Feast of the Wedding(? Feast of the Bridegroom?) includes meat dishes, with (of course) a Biblical reference thrown in. Yet I remember there being a reference to the idea that people wouldn't eat meat in the MK. Where did LaHaye come up with that?

Pg. 40:

Wait, I thought everyone left on Earth at the time of Jesus' return had been magically whisked to Jerusalem. Did people scatter that far in the 75 days, before the Earth had even been remade? There is so much information dumped into these first few chapters, yet there's also so much stuff left out.

Also, we're told that more and more children keep coming up to Chloe and CamCam, numbering now in the hundreds or even thousands. Where are they coming from? How were they surviving in-between Jesus' return and their arrival in Jerusalem. THERE IS NO EXPLANATION GIVEN!

Pg. 41: Then one page later we're told Rayford and Irene are going to Indonesia to help with the rebuilding. I'm taking this to mean that, should the rapture happen (I know I'll be left behind if something like the series happens in real life) and at the end of the Tribulation I end up in Jerusalem one way or another (come down from Heaven or be whisked there when Jesus returns), I have carte blanche to immediately leave and make my way to Hawaii. Or what's left of it. Which would be nice, because I'm not the biggest people person and I seriously wouldn't want to spend 1,000 years living in a desert, no matter how many cypress trees there are or how many times Jerry Jenkins says they're "beautiful."

Pg. 43: Chapter Five skips ahead? to 93 years into the Millennium. Do the math, the means the first kids born after the rapture will be turning 100. At least the plot is moving ahead.

Rayford, now 140, complains about feeling old. No description of changes to his physical features or the aging of his body is provided, so we're left to picture him as Mr. Burns hunched over while walking, too weak to pick up a bowling ball, a needle sticking right through his arm like it's meringue.

Yeah, I think I'll have Mr. Burns play the role of Ray for the rest of this book.

Pg. 44:

OH DON'T EVEN TEASE ME LIKE THIS! Speculative fiction about technological evolution can go one of two ways:

1) Realistic and practical, heavy on the science and aware of the limitations in things like space travel and whatnot.
2) Heavy on the fiction. Let your imagination run wild and provide the plot whatever it needs. Need cloning technology that can shrink the development stage for a mature adult to just a few hours? Have it. Faster-than-light space travel? Piece of cake.

In this book I think they can go either way. There's no more war, and technology might be progressing in ways and at speeds unheard of now that it's unhindered by an executive worrying about a corporate bottom line or nations trying to keep advances and discoveries secret from their enemies. Maybe they've attained cloning in this new world, or maybe they're just catching up with all the advancements mankind had made up to the point of Jesus' return (since most of the scientists were atheists and are now in hell).

But the thing is, I question if L/J have even thought about how the development of science would be affected by the return of Jesus. I imagine all space exploration has been abandoned (are any of the Voyager probes still sending signals back to Earth? Can they still be intercepted?), and stem cell research is probably a no-no. Maybe they've discovered a way to treat cancer, since those who survived the Tribulation are still getting sick. Wait, do they get sick? That hasn't been covered yet.

This may end up bugging me as yet another unresolved, unexplored idea.

Pg. 45: Or maybe not:

Cybernetic implants! EarPods that allow people to hear phone calls in their brain! Will this lead to something or is it a throwaway line to show how futuristic things are?

Pg. 44-45: Ray is talking about how God is impressing on his heart the idea to go out and evangelize. Another mention of the human population being scattered throughout the world, no mention of how big it is, how many cities there are, or anything to give even a basic idea of what we should be picturing. Hundreds of thousands? Millions? Are they scattered randomly around the world or is Jerusalem the epicenter and all the other cities and towns radiate out from it? Give me something to work with here.

Pg. 46:The first unbeliever has died at the age of 100. Rayford is invited to the funeral.

'Assess the situation'? Who the hell talks like that? Are these guys still living their Tribulation Force days, acting out some militia fantasy and trying to maintain military discipline? I wonder if Ray saluted Tsion when they met up at the start of the scene.

So the first unbeliever has died, and immediately the conversation swings around to wondering if she had ever actually brought anyone else to salvation. Now everyone is suspect, I guess. I smell witchhunts!

Pg. 46-47: The dead unbeliever's parents are mentioned, which I assume means her birth parents. Which raises a problem:

I can accept the idea that children born during the Tribulation would have little to no understanding of what life was like before Jesus returned, and those born in the MK would have none at all. Aging, disease, death are all rather foreign concepts, and the idea of needing salvation because the world is impure and whatnot doesn't fully register. All they really know is peace and unbridled prosperity. So maybe when they meet Jesus they're not fully convinced He is who He says He is. All this talk about what happened thousands of years ago, or mentioning what happened pre-MK may just sound like fairy tales meant to scare kids into behaving.

But their parents know what life was like in the Before Times. Before Jesus returned, before the world was remade. Back when humans were selfish, greedy and antagonistic. They know the world has actually changed, that Jesus is the real deal, because they have something to compare the Millennial Kingdom to, the old Earth. They can give their own testimony, they can answer any questions in detail about what war or hunger were like.

So what happened to Cendrillon Jospin (I won't complain about how that name sounds because at least it is a name)? Did her parents drop the ball and not explain what the world had been like? Did she rationalize in some way that believing in Jesus isn't necessary for salvation, or that salvation isn't even necessary? What?

Or, given the authors, the more important question is: are we even going to be told?

Pg. 49: The focus shifts to Raymie now, reminiscing about things the reader couldn't be shown , because this is Jenkins of course.

'Virtually nonexistent' indicates they still exist in some form. Crime and war less than a hundred years into the Millennium? That seems like a pretty major plot point. Hey geniuses! Maybe there's a story there you could find and tell us!

Pg. 50:

His condition has deteriorated to Sad, and he's showing symptoms of Shaken. Nurse! Get me 500cc of Comforted and prep the OR for a Happy implant!

Pg. 51: Infodump time! A character who appeared later in the series and who I don't remember is talking to Raymie about Cendrillon the Unbeliever and about her desire to go to "France or Turkey" (so we know there are people in Europe, at least) to see if rumors about the nightlife are true.

What rumors? Well, rumors of "kids" in their 80s and 90s who haven't been saved and claim they read the Bible as if Satan is the good guy. And they call themselves the Other Light.

Pg. 52: Brothels, nightclubs and black markets exist, and if the latter exists then regular markets exist. What's the economic system of the MK? I'm assuming free-market capitalism, because LaHaye is a far-right conservative, after all.

But that raises the question of what kind of (if any) regulatory agencies and workplace safety rules Jesus has instituted, among other things. Again, world building? Not L/J's strong suit.

Pg. 57: Rayford thinks about what happened while meeting Cendrillon's parents.

And... end scene. Literally, that's where the scene ends, after the mother comments on how they had had a birthday party a month and a half earlier than the birthday itself for some reason.

These books continuously astounds with the non sequiturs and ignored plot points.

Pg. 58: It's mentioned that cemeteries are non-existent in the MK, and suddenly I'm wondering if it's possible to die by accident or injury. What happens if a ladder breaks and you fall on your head?

Also, as this scene involves the funeral for Cendrillon, the first funeral in close to a century(?), I'm wondering why Jesus doesn't show up. "Cameron felt the presence of the grieving Lord with him..." we're told (pg. 59). Would it be gauche for Jesus to show up and give His own warning? Is it too soon?

Pg. 61: Now we're told that the glorified bodies (those raptured or who died during the Tribulation) don't age, while the bodies of everyone else age much slower than normal. So I guess Rayford still looks middle-aged, but I choose to go with the "Mr. Burns is Ray" casting decision.

Pg. 62: After CamCam gives a brief "Get saved or you'll die at 100" spiel, a bunch of people come forward and get saved. Kenny and his friends notice a group of people hanging around in the back, looking distracted, and one of them immediately thinks outloud about how he wishes he could infiltrate the group and find out if they had influenced Cendrillon, made her a non-believer. This is followed up by another one suggesting Kenny do it, since he doesn't have a glorified body (and thus stand out like a narc). Good to know that even after 93 years of peace and tranquility people still have an instinctive desire to act like big damn heroes fighting against subversive elements plotting to take down society. This mindset made sense earlier in the series when the Antichrist was coming to power and there was a real "you could die tomorrow" excitement to the world (even if L/J couldn't get this across in their writing), but here we have the MK, Jesus ruling the world with justice and fairness (we're told) and still people want to dress up and play superhero. They still want to fluff their ego, they still want the glory and prestige for saving the world themselves. It's hard to not read that into this stuff.

Pg. 63: Kenny reflects on being saved at the age of ten.

Probably one of the greatest divides between people like LaHaye (not necessarily just Christians) and everyone else is this fundamental view of humanity as irreparably flawed. They may not think there's anything wrong with this view, especially considering they view it as Absolute Truth, but it seems so easy to take it to the logical conclusion that humans can never be great in any way, that all our accomplishments are meaningless, that our triumphs and growth are a joke.

What a dim view of people. What a horrible view.

Pg. 65: So Kenny decides to infiltrate The Other Light (TOL) and talks to the guys milling around in the back. As he's talking he notices the pinstripes in their suits are just really tiny TOL's repeated over and over again. Because secret conspiracies always leave clues of their existence in plain sight like that, right?

Because if they didn't, that would just be proof of the cover-up!

Again, at least the plot is moving now. My understanding (from synopses I've read) is that Kenny infiltrates the group and exposes them (or something) and then people don't trust him (or something).

My question is if L/J will try to explain just how the kids in TOL are rebelling. They mention taking wine from the literal rivers of it in Israel and creating a stronger drink, but no explanation of where the idea came from. And other stuff like illicit dancing or drugs or whatever this rebellion involves: where are the ideas coming from? Did ecstasy have to be reinvented? Did anyone teach them how to krump or have they come up with their own dances?

Because it's not like there are any holdovers from the previous pre-rapture generation to teach the kids what to do. All the sinners are gone and the adults are all saved. I'll buy the argument that rebellion may be instinctual, especially in adolescents trying to figure out their own place in the world, but the desire to rebel in some way needs to be directed into something specific. The ideas for drugs and rock n'roll don't just spring up ex nihilo .

Pg. 67: Another mention of the world outside Israel, another chance for me to question the size and locations of the human population. How far have they spread? How many people are there? Maybe L/J just don't want to touch upon the fact that people are still having sex in the MK. Talking about reproduction means alluding to sex, and as Standaert pointed out, Chloe's pregnancy earlier in the series comes a bit out of left field when there's been no indication that she and CamCam have ever gone beyond kissing until then.

Pg. 67-69: One of the reasons why this whole series is 13 books long is because Jenkins is a pro at having conversations circle around a topic, going nowhere and saying nothing. Case in point: two and a half pages where Ray says "I think God wants me to be a missionary" and Tsion replys "But you're not Jewish. Here's some selective quotes from different books of the Bible (surely written at different times) that say you need to be Jewish." "Yeah, but I think God wants me to do this." "(Pause) OK, listen to God."

Pg. 70:

OK... so death exists, but cemeteries don't? What happens to the bodies then? Does God zap them with so much juice they disintegrate?

And what crimes are the nightclub attendees committing that warrant raids and imprisonment? This makes me think of Persepolis and one scene when a dance party is interrupted by the religious police raiding it. Is that what's happening here? Does Jesus have a militia cracking down on the wrong kinds of music or dancing?

And if the Other Light's nightclubs are "frequently" arrested, wouldn't this sort of thing become frontpage news all over the world? Look at today's media and the constant bombardment of stories about this or that new fad popular with the kids that is so shocking (Sexting! Justin Bieber! Walking around with their pants sagging down, showing off their underwear!). Are we really supposed to believe the media of the MK is somehow more mellow and less alarmist than the media today? Wouldn't everyone be getting up in arms about this new underground fad that's leading kids astray, especially when they all start dying off at age 100?

Oh, also: this world has a divine death penalty in place, yet crime is still not curbed. Can we abolish the death penalty in our world, then? I'm sure LaHaye will agree it's not a deterrent.

Pg. 70-72: TOL's plan, in a nutshell, is to pass down their philosophy and opposition to Jesus through the next several generations (Jenkins assumes that a generation is 100 years long; a bit off there, methinks) until the final generation is around to oppose Jesus in force at the end of the Millennium. Because everyone else will be dying off before then, at the age of 100.

Which raises the question of self-preservation. There's some lip service here to the idea that the TOLers acknowledge Jesus' divinity but don't like it, but there's no explanation yet of what about it they don't like. They just want to sin for the sake of sin, apparently. And because adolescence is treated as a decades long thing in the MK, we're expected to accept that people in their 80's and 90's are still acting like petulant teeens, rebelling against an authority figure because, hey, that's what teeens do and they think they'll live forever and whatnot.

Buuuuuuuuuuullshiiiiiiiiiiiiit! It's hard to see TOL as a realistic movement considering what I've already mentioned (Jesus exists, people can talk to him). L/J seem to be applying a view of this world here, the one we live in, to the world of their story, and it just doesn't work.

Also, the heroes are going to call themselves the Millennium Force. More playacting by 'grown-ups' wanting to save the world.

Pg. 70-72, 78-80: Four and a half pages, divided by some stuff with Ray being invited to meet King David, is devoted to Kenny talking with the other Millennium Force members about finding someone else help him infiltrate TOL, and a pair of conversations circle around whether or not this one guy a couple of them know is a Real, True Christian or not. Is he a spy for TOL? Is he for real? Who knows? I\'m on the edge of my seat ! (I should probably move back, there's plenty of space here.)

But seriously, two and a half pages are Raymie meeting a potential mole to help spy on TOL. The conversation, abridged:

"Are you a Christian?"
"Yeah?"
"A real one?"
"Yeaaahhhh."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeaaaaaaaaah... maybe."
"I'm not sure I trust you."

Here's something that's been bugging me: early in the series (third or fourth book) the saved start displaying marks on their foreheads that only other believers can see. This takes away the potential "Who can we trust?" plot that really is key to any story involving a megalomaniacal tyrant conquering the world and being opposed by a small group of dedicated rebels, and now we have the reverse problem where you would think the mark would still be there, only instead we get stuff like above: conversations circling around "Are you a real, true Christian or are you just going through the motions?" It's just more padding and artificial suspense.

Pg. 81: Ray gets teased a bit for being a foreigner in Israel, because as previously mentioned Jesus still recognizes national boundaries.

Pg. 82-83: The priest that summoned Ray to meet King David says "I know you've been here before, but..." and then he spends two pages reciting quotes about the temple, about which gates are opened or closed or who comes in what gate or whatever. Two pages of nothing but padding.

Pg. 84-85: Relationships - not love, that's never quite expressed between any two characters here; just relationships, status markers to differentiate between 'single' and 'married' - relationships in this series are written so hamfisted there's really no suspense when Kenny is introduced to a woman described as beautiful who is his own age. Gee, I wonder if they're going to be put together. Because that's what happens in this series: two single characters of opposite genders and proximate age are introduced to one another and that means they end up together. No scenes of them getting to know one another as real people (their conversations are usually just "how did you get saved?"), no instances of one being hesitant or one coming on too strong. No problems or roadbumps to make them think "Maybe he/she isn't right for me," except for the second book's sitcomy diversion of having Chloe think CamCam was engaged when he so totally wasn\'t! How hi-larious!

It's handled by the writers as if this or that couple getting together is preordained, and the part where they actually meet and experience some emotion meant to stand in for love is just something to be humored before the plot can move onto the next point.

Pg. 85: Kenny, who is, what, 98 years old now, "hadn't yet become interested in the opposite sex." Whaaaaaaaaaaaa? Is there something stunting their emotional growth as well as their physical, because mentally he should at least be in his teeens now, right? Comparatively speaking? I don't understand this idea that longer lives will immediately transfer into delayed youth and adolescence. As if people aren't going to be fully mature by the time they're in their 20's just because their bodies haven't caught up. What about that kid in Interview with a Vampire? Stuck forever as a child, but her mind became that of a woman, right?

And does slower aging mean babies don't get toilet-trained until their teeens?

Pg. 89: Ray and company meet the Biblical David, who serves as prince under Jesus. David starts by commenting on how easy it is to rule in the MK, but when he refers to 'other nations' I again have to wonder at what the territorial make-up of the new world is and why it even is as such. After Jesus returned and all the saints and believers were brought together, what spurred the reversion to old national divisions, and why does Jesus tolerate this? I'm sorry that I keep harping on this, but it\'s a new world! Populated by people who have all been born again, remade. There should be example after example of how the old ways have been abandoned, how people are trying to build a utopia (or the next best thing) on Earth, and what changes are being made to bring that about.

Instead we're told that crime still exists, old nations like France and Egypt still exist, serving autonomously (I assume) apart from Jesus' rule, and the only examples of work that people do are either building roads and other infrastructure or evangelizing, which should be a piece of cake, considering God is walking the Earth.

Or is He? Jesus was something of a traveler the first time He came to Earth, never really staying in one place while he taught and preached, yet all we've been told about Him in the MK is that he has a throne and he sits on it. What, 24/7? Does He never leave the Temple? Does he not go out and minister to the people living outside of Israel? There are countless questions that occur to me, and I'm lacking in answers.

Are L/J just frightened by the idea of depicting Jesus as a fictional character, of trying to give Him thoughts and feelings outside of what is explicitly stated at certain parts of Revelation as He does whatever He's supposed to do? If that was the case, then that would be a pretty damn good reason to NOT WRITE THIS BOOK AT ALL!

***

This is Ray speaking. 'Tongues are wagging'? Who talks like this? This is a problem with the series going back to the first book, the fact that people who convert instantly starting acting like Stepford Choirboys, speaking and thinking all alike. But it always takes me out of the story to have a character who lived in America at the end of the 20th century (the first book was published in the mid-90's, so let's say that's when the rapture took place) saying things nobody in the modern world says.

Pg. 94-95: Kenny's talking to his new de facto love interest (we all know where this is going; I doubt even L/J will try to tease it out or make it grow organically), and she tells him about her friends who joined TOL. We finally get some idea of the TOLers' rationale, but it's still wanting. Simply, they think Satan was punished for no good reason and they hope that if they spread the word there'll be forces large enough at the end of the Millennium to defeat God and avert prophecy. And then Satan will resurrect all the people who died at 100.

Maybe I shouldn't complain, because at least here we have the villains justifying their actions to themselves. That's something every villain has to do, rationalize their deeds.

But at the same time, no. It doesn't stand up to scrutiny. What's the argument that can be made here? On the one hand, you have all the prophecies from Revelation that came true one after another, and you have countless eyewitnesses to these events. You have God in human form living on Earth, speaking to you when you pray. You have God the Father striking criminals down with lightning. You have all this evidence supporting the validity of the Bible and the final prophecies of Revelation, stating that Satan will lose the final round.

And the on the other side, you have... what? People upset about Jesus making them choose Him or face death? OK, that's believable. But the other option is death . The other option is siding with the being viewed as evil incarnate and a deceiver. Where did the original idea for TOL come from? Who said 'Hey, let's side with the devil! He's lost every round so far, but that just means he's due for a win! And maybe he's really a nice guy but he has bad publicity!'

I'm not saying there isn't some way to make TOL a believable organization, that the idea of people living in a renewed Earth still nonetheless turning against God for whatever reason is just flatout impossible. I'm just saying L/J still aren't giving us anything to really work with.

Pg. 98-99: King David wants Ray and company to go to Egypt, and as they're parting he offers Ray a favor. Ray asks if David or other Biblical figures can go to the children's ministry and tell their stories firsthand.

It took almost a century for someone to think of that. What the hell have Noah, Adam, or Abraham all been doing during this time? I picture Solomon sitting alone in his room, shades drawn, looking at the telephone thinking 'Why doesn't anybody call?'

Pg. 99-101: Kenny is still talking to Kat the Greek Girl/Declared Love Interest; she's telling her story of not converting until recently and flirting with the idea of joining TOL (or least experimenting with it). She explains that the issue was confronting her own selfish desires and letting go of wanting nothing more than feeding her own wants. It's a common lesson in sermons and whatnot, that being a good/true Christian involves letting God take command.

Apropos of almost nothing, this strikes me as one of the greater similarities between Christianity and Buddhism (with what little I know of Buddhism). It's about letting go of yourself, to stop chasing after whatever catches your fancy and to strive to take part in something bigger than oneself. (I really hope I'm not mangling the actual teachings of Buddhism here; if I am, I'm sorry.)

The difference I see here, though, is that Christianity focuses on the idea of being subservient to something specific: God. Whereas Buddhism is about shedding parts of your own mentality in order to grow. Outward vs. inward, almost. I wonder if Christians see this difference as essential, or if taking the Buddhist idea of letting go in order to grow could be used alongside or in place of trying to be subservient to God's will.

Pg. 102-104: The Millennium Force (although I don't expect they're ever going to use actual force; they seem to view their course of action as being one of intelligence gathering and other spywork, not of direct conflict) meets to discuss whether the potential mole is Real, True Christian-y enough to work for them. There's some arguing between the one guy that vouches for the candidate and the others, who think he doesn't take faith seriously and (gasp!) may not even have led anyone to Jesus himself!

So the guy vouching for him gets upset, because he already told him he was definitely in, and the others point out it was incredibly stupid to tip their hand to someone they couldn't yet trust.

I'll say this: this part kind of works. These people were either raptured as kids or were born during the Tribulation, so they all had little to no experience in the real world (ie. the pre-rapture world) and have spent most of their lives in the next-best thing to utopia. Lying and secrecy must not be commonplace to them, and it makes sense they'd goof up when trying to suddenly get all clandestine.

But while the right idea is there, the execution is not. Zaki, the guy vouching for the candidate and who is overeager and has made some mistakes, is the only one to actually act like he has to learn all this as he goes along. The others, who have no more experience lying than Zaki does, are too quick to figure things out. They don't act like they're experienced, but that they've seen all spy movies and read all the Ludlum books.

Pg. 108:

Was she ever given a name? She was raptured, so she didn't appear in the series, and Bruce died at the end of the second book, so there's no real reason to give her a name. But now that she's mentioned again, why not slip in something like "Bruce's wife, Mary..."?

Pg. 109-110: While Ray is going off to Egypt to shame an entire nation for losing their way, his friend Abdullah has been called by Jesus to return to Jordan. They're talking about the tasks before them and reminiscing about the old days, when Abdullah comments

And the scene ends there.

I have read that several times and I still don't understand what the hell he's saying. 'You're old' is a hate crime? Or is it 'You're too old to blend in with a bunch of teenagers'? Because of his race?

And why is Abdullah implying that he's the only one here with an ethnicity? Caucasian is an ethnicity, right? Does he mean 'minority'? Because he's from Jordan, not America. What experience does he have being in an ethnic minority? The answer, of course, is that Jerry Jenkins is a white man who lives in America, and he's used to 'white' being the dominant, majority ethnicity. Everything else is a minority to him.

But what's with 'You're too old to blend in with teenagers' as a racist comment? Did Jenkins write it while half-asleep and never go back to read over it?

Pg. 110: IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING the confusing 'hate-crime' question we join Ray in Egypt. But rather than go straight to the leaders of Egypt and be all "Hey, you guys all wanna talk like you gotta something to say, but nothing comes out when you move your lips, just a bunch of gibberish, and you fuckas act like you forgot about Jesus," he and his cohorts have to first build living quarters. Why? Because God told them to. Why do that? I don't know. Was there not enough construction taking place in Egypt over the LAST 93 YEARS ? Hey, if people are being killed by lightning there must be some empty houses, right?

And here's another actual quote:

Whaaaaa? I thought they were building living quarters. Those are the actual words used in the paragraph (in the line) immediately preceding this quote. Is Egypt going to be flooded or something? Or is Jenkins devolving into Surrealist art? Is it not supposed to make sense?

Pg. 111: Kenny's love interest talks about bringing a 10-year old to Jesus. A surprisingly self-conscious and eloquent 10-year old, which makes me assume that people are still aging at the same mental rate as people in the real world do. So why are 80- and 90-year olds still treated like or acting like teenagers?

Pg. 112-113: An Egyptian approaches Ray and the conversation, summed up, is:

"God send you guys?"
"Yep."
"Well Cairo won't greet you too warmly. The guys that convinced everyone to skip the feast [the reason God is angry with Egypt] are dead."
"God made an example of them."
(Actual quote) "Why must we suffer for the actions of a few?"

And end scene. No answer is given here, or even contemplated.

Also: 'Cairo's not happy the people who got them all in trouble are dead, so they won't like you.' What does that mean? Why aren't they angry at the people that are dead?

Pg. 115: It is explicitly stated that Satan is bound in hell and has no influence on anyone living on Earth. This brings up what I asked above: while rebellion can be organic, how did the ideas like 'Satan is unjustly wronged' come about? Do L/J have such a simplistic view that they think it's always an either/or thing? Either God or Satan? Atheism isn't an option in this world, sure, but if TOL is about rejecting God, why do they automatically align with a different supernatural being instead? Is no one saying "Fuck both you guys, I'm for myself"?

Also, Satan has no influence? No one in TOL is taking orders from him? So he'll just be released under whatever circumstances, find an army waiting to serve him, and then he goes back hell.

Well then what's the whole point of this? Why does God allow Satan to get out to begin with?

Pg. 118-119: Ray and company just stroll into the Egyptian parliament and Tsion begins yelling at them. When one of the younger members tries to argue an opposing side, Tsion just keeps interrupting him and shouting him down, ending with the command to tear down the building they're in (it's never described but Tsion says it 'looks nothing like a temple dedicated to Him but rather harks back to your days worshiping patron deities,' so... what is it? And why would a government building need to look like a temple?) and replace it with a temple.

The obvious thing that jumps out at me is not that Tsion refuses to listen to the other side, but that he can't even be the least bit calm as he explains to them what many have already guessed at: namely, that God isn't pleased. No, he has to make a big show of embarrassing people like the parliament member who starts to bring up the question of how God can be considered loving when He'll punish an entire nation for the sins of just a few.

And then Tsion says they're going to travel throughout the country and minister to people. So why did they build those living quarters mentioned just a couple pages ago? Wait, did they even finish building them? All we're told is that they started building them, and then the next thing we know they're bursting in on the federal government and making demands. How much time passed between those two scenes? Days? Weeks?

Pg. 120-122: Apparently Jenkins got tired of teasing out what TOL's plans are, giving away a few clues here or there that make no sense out of context, because here we get a manifesto about what TOL is all about and what it's plans are. There are so many things in just two and a half pages to try to sort through, let's do it one at a time:

1) The phrase 'rational thought' appearing makes me think L/J is trying to get a dig in at scientists and atheists, but nothing actually comes of it. I guess when your story takes place in a world where Jesus is an actual character it's just too easy to have your side win that argument, and the motivation is all gone. If this had happened earlier in the series, before Jesus returned, there'd be a few pages of Buck or Ray arguing with a nonbeliever, countering their every argument and eventually leaving them speechless or converting them.

2) TOL believes God exists (duh-hoy), but doesn't believe Jesus lived as a human, was crucified, or resurrected. In other words, they doubt the word of someone who is living in the same time as them and has the power to somehow prove His divinity and power to them. Either to move on from this plothole or because this is Jerry Jenkins (the man who brings up and throws aside more ideas than someone with ADD), nothing is made of the question of Jesus' divinity and original sacrifice.

3) In the same paragraph the manifesto states that TOL believe Satan was unfairly cast out of heaven, "forever besmirching his name and reputation" (and also, you know, condemning him to suffer in hell for eternity). No explanation of how Satan was unjustly punished is given. It's what I said above: if they reject God, then L/J feel they must side with Satan. No 'the dwarves are for the dwarves' third option here.

4) The first real argument from TOL is that God demanding to be worshipped and allowing no other option makes Them petty, vindictive and cruel, and the TOLers feel such a being is not worthy of being worshipped. They must, rather, be opposed.

5) The TOLers plan is teach as many members of each successive generation to think for themselves, refuse blind faith, and then hope that at the end of the Millennium there will be forces large enough to "emerge victorious in the end." Exactly how they plan to overthrow the omnipotent being who has already demonstrated the ability to strike down unbelievers without warning they don't say.

Here's a problem I see no way around: God is not a regular person with a limited lifespan and a vulnerability to bullets, knives, strangulation, crushing, extreme heat, extreme cold, etc. If this was a story about a war between two groups of humans, it would be believable that the smaller, outmatched organization could plan for the longterm to someday overthrow a tyrant, taking advantage of the fact that he would age, grow weak, and eventually even die of natural causes.

What kind of plan could TOL have to overthrow God? How, honestly, how the fuck could they rationally expect to take out the almighty being they admit they acknowledge is The Creator?

L/J haven't given their villains a believable plan, and the entire story falls apart because of it. It doesn't matter whether their rationale makes sense, whether or not they explain why the TOLers would align with Satan just because they reject God. What matters is that their plan, the actions they take that set the story in motion, have to make sense.

But they don't. Arming a bunch of humans is not going to lead to God being overthrown, but that's all L/J are giving us here.

Phase 1: Sow dissent against God.
Phase 2: ?
Phase 3: Profit. God is dead.

It's absurd. It's insulting. It's crap.

The TOL manifesto ends with:

Improve it? How about fixing that huge fucking hole known as your entire plan?

Pg. 122: We check in on Abdullah going about his mission, which for the next few sections is nothing more than trying to track down a friend of his to make him look younger so he can infiltrate TOL. In this section he hears second-hand about a TOLer trying to rape a woman with a glorified body to "create a super mongrel race of potential converts to their side who would be partially glorified and perhaps able to live past one hundred."

Now THAT'S a plan. Except, another hole:

See, this is what happens when you get rid of all the scientists and just the generally curious; 93 years in and they still haven't figured out whether glorified people can have children.

And then the scene jumps to Abdullah walking along the road with his wife, reminding us that she's in a glorified body. So he knows firsthand that the glorified have no sex drive, which must make it hell for him. 1000 years, remember...

Pg. 130-131: I'm skipping over some Kat/Kenny circling here. It gets irritating that Jenkins can't go more than a page and a half before jumping to a new plot thread. It may explain why he can't follow through on the larger plots like the rapture and missing children.

So as Kenny is getting worked up over Qasim asking Kat out before him, we now jump to Ray's party in Egypt, which includes "Rayford, Irene, Chaim, Tsion, Mac, Bruce, and his wife." The second time Bruce's wife is mentioned, and still no name for her.

Also:

Such as...?

"Um, all of them?"

But seriously, why does anyone in Egypt Osaze need Rayford's little band of a couple preachers, a botanist, a pilot and some housewives to introduce new technology? One would think that when the MK was begun everyone was on an equal footing economically, and I can't understand how major divisions of wealth or access to technology would settle in so relatively quickly. 93 years into utopia on Earth and people in other countries or in backwater villages are so far behind the rest of the world?

I'm assuming this is meant to parallel how missionaries will not only come to small, remote villages to preach, but to also dig wells, teach the people about hygiene, and impart other more practical knowledge. But it doesn't work here because the MK is not (or least should not be presented as being like) the world we the readers live in.

Pg. 131: Kat's on her date with Qasim and Kenny is feeling jealous.

Note: in today's production of Pinocchio the part of Jiminy Cricket will be played by God the Almighty.

Pg. 132:

Ahhhh. What with all the talk of glorified bodies and Jesus living on Earth and God speaking directly to horny "teenagers," it's nice to be back on reassuring solid ground as Left Behind returns to what it does best: extraneous prose about travel arrangements being discussed.

Pg. 136:

'They' refers to CamCam and Chloe. They're glorified, so no sex, but apparently also no snuggles or cuddles. Earlier in the book we're told that CamCam thinks of Chloe 'as a sister,' so is that another aspect of the lobotomy that is being glorified? No longer experiencing love for even your own wife/husband? I can't understand how that appeals to anyone.

Presumably the argument will be "Love for God should/does come ahead of anything else." Personally I don't find that convincing, but I'll admit that the feeling of being one with God (or whatever euphemism you want to use) is something I can only guess at. Maybe it would override the limited love humans are capable of.

But there's a potentially great scene missing in this book, one where CamCam and Chloe consider their past as lovers, their new view of the world that stems from having died and gone to heaven, and wondering where they go from there. Is a marriage without love, without sensuality, without giving of oneself to the other worth maintaining? Perhaps they agreed that they're married in name only, staying together just for the sake of raising their son, and the separate rooms thing is no different than any other pending divorce, except without the barely restrained animosity that explodes on nights of drunken binges. "Queen of the harpies, Chloe! Queen of the harpies! Here's your crown, your majesty! "

Instead we have this:

'It's like I've been cured of those terrible symptoms like love and a desire for companionship, and now I just want to tolerate your presence until we go back to heaven and I don't have to pay attention to any other humans ever again.'

Here's the thing: if people who have died and entered Jesus' presence are "cleansed" (not at all the right word for this, but I'll use it here for the sake of simplicity) of any feelings for other people besides a lukewarm (and that is the right word for this, considering the source material of this series) 'like,' then there is no reason for any of them to be brought back to Earth. Keep them in heaven, keep them basking in the glory of God and worshiping Him up there. Don't bring them back down to Earth, don't put them back into relationships based on strong emotions, don't expect them to be able to interact with the real humans with real emotions and real desires of the flesh.

You can't have Stepford Vulcans, people who don't feel any strong emotions but nonetheless proclaim that they're happy, walking around with real humans. It just doesn't work.

Pg. 137-141: Surprisingly (and pleasantly, all things considered) the Kat/Kenny/Qasim story isn't strung along for another fifty pages, and the first two just come out and say "Hey, I like you" and "Really? I like you too" here. Unfortunately we get another example of Jenkins' idea of romantic endearment as Kat and Kenny are brought to tears laughing at the slight inconvenience of trying to talk with grapes in your mouth.

Seriously:

Yeah, that sounds like such a hilarious incident.

Pg. 141-142:So Ray's request to have Biblical figures come to COT will be filled, first with a visit from Noah (as we've already been told before this scene):

Even when a scene adds nothing to the plot, Jenkins can't allow talk of travel plans to be excised.

Pg. 143: Back to Kat and Kenny, and the subject of Noah's upcoming visit to the day camp.

When I say that Jenkins pads, I mean it. "You mean you're unaware? You have not been informed? It has not been brought to your attention? He neglected to bring you up to speed? Word has not reached you?"

Also, why tell us "He did" instead of having Kenny say "Noah is coming. The Noah."? Just terrible writing.

Pg. 144:

As I've been writing up the last several notes I've also been rewatching The Talons of Weng-Chiang. There's a big difference between the endearing pomposity of Henry Gordon Jago and the forced... I don't know what the hell this is supposed to be. "Lost my enthusiasm for the unique personality..."? Did Jenkins write something, translate it to Chinese, and then translate it back?

Pg. 147: As clueless as Kenny Williams is in love and espionage (he'd make a great Bond-wannabe if he probably wasn't so averse to violence and adult situations), he's still a better character than his undeservingly arrogant father. It's a small blessing of this book that CamCam doesn't figure in too much, but his plot thread still raises questions.

For instance, I mentioned above the question of how CamCam and Chloe aren't even interested in sharing the same bed, let alone experiencing any real love for each other. But then there's the whole idea (mentioned a couple times) that CamCam and Chloe are given the day camp to run as a way to make up for their being killed in the Tribulation; Jesus' way of making up to them not being able to raise Kenny like a normal child, I guess.

But returning to my question above: how can CamCam and Chloe (beings now incapable of love) express love to the children in their care (numbering, this section tells us, in the thousands) when they can't express love to each other? We're told:

... except they can't express love. I wonder how the children react to the limp hugs or emotionless pats on the head and empty "Good job"'s they receive from CamCam and Chloe.

Pg. 148-149:

Her breakfast baked vegetable casserole. Because pancakes are too secular.

Pg. 150:

That's the third mention of Bruce's wife and no name.

Pg. 151:

And that's four. We're at the point where we can assume Jenkins never gave her a name.

Pg. 151-152:

What gracious hosts these two glorified beings are.

Pg. 152-153:

COT has been around for 93 years. If it hasn't built up a solid reputation by now, nothing will help it.

Pg. 153:

Whaaaaaaaa? Why would Noah be dangerous? Why would Noah need security? Was Abraham just assassinated? Was someone caught mailing threatening letters to Esther?

I wonder if there's a story there: Biblical figures are being murdered one by one, and now one man is in a race against time to solve the mystery, uncover the conspiracy, and save Moses in "Let My People Throw (Down)" (based on the novel by Dan Brown).

Oh God, that's horrible. The Jenkins is wearing off on me.

Pg. 154:

Well, I'd say Captain Jack Sparrow is more famous. He may be the worst pirate you have ever heard of, but you have heard of him.

Also, the appearance of Noah and the people's reaction to him (awestruck, but not overtly fawning) raises the question of how the Biblical figures are treated in the day to day life of the MK. Are they celebrities? How do they fit into a world being (re)built by people that lived thousands of years after them? Is Samson a big Hollywood star appearing in action movies? Does Daniel have a talk show? Are they mobbed by fans when they go out the door? Just give me something to work with here, Jenkins.

Or hell, what about all the famous people who lived after the Biblical times but were Christian? Is George Washington back on Earth? Thomas Aquinas? Galileo wasn't an atheist, was he? Did he go to heaven and get returned to Earth? Or is it just the Biblical figures that were sent back? Because that doesn't make any sense.

Did LaHaye or Jenkins give any thought whatsoever to the idea of people who lived hundreds or thousands of years ago suddenly living in the same towns or cities as modern people?

Pg. 155-156: Noah has arrived and he's going into his speech/tale/whatever this turns out to be. I find it interesting that we're approaching the halfway part of the book and yet this scene, which strikes me as completely superfluous, has gotten almost as much build-up as what I take to be the actual plot of the book: the Millennium 'Force' trying to infiltrate the TOLers. But even calling that a plot is generous when the fatalism of the characters, of the series itself, reduces all conflict to "Wait it out and Jesus will take care of it."

Anyway, Noah has started talking, and I wonder if they're going to go into his drunkenness and the 'Curse of Ham,' the Biblical explanation of why there are black people and the justification used for slavery and segregation. But before we can get to that, Noah explains how he was able to live for hundreds of years:

Thunderf00t has gone over this in a couple videos, so let me just mention that this is another problem with having no scientists around: people can make claims like this and no one knows how to verify it, or even seems to question it. The sun is shining so much brighter now in the MK; is it so bright that no one has noticed the giant wall of water stretching across the sky, horizon to horizon?

Well if no one knows, I question if you're 'revered' for it at all.

Noah neglects to go into detail about what happened when he got drunk, just that he did and he warns the kids against it.

Pg. 157: For no clear reason Noah mentions the idea of angels mingling with human women, then moves onto how humans had become wicked in his time. No connection between the fallen angels and wicked humans is actually made, just two things mentioned in succession.

Pg. 157-165: The rest of the chapter is Noah going into detail about the ark and the flood. It's full of actual verses from the Bible mixed in with a bit more detail, such as (and here I'll give some points to Jenkins) Noah describing how and he and his family were regular people that fought and squabbled and still loved each other. It's a small point, but still somewhat nice to see that even Jerry Jenkins can occasionally depict characters as nuanced and capable of conflicting emotions like real people.

It doesn't redeem this scene, and now I'm wondering if there was any point to this entire sequence at all.

Pg. 167:

Whoa! Slow down, you two! Holding hands already ? That's, like, one step away from having sex in the middle of the road.

Pg. 168-169: Abdullah doesn't know how he's going to infiltrate TOL, and he asks his friends and families to pray that God helps him do it. There, I just summed up close to a page of prose and dialogue in one sentence, without neglecting any important plot points or revelations because there are none !

Pg. 169-170: Kenny brings Raymie up to speed on what we the audience already know, and Raymie thinks "things are getting out of hand" because Qasim is the only one actually showing initiative (even if we're supposed to question his true allegiance) and he's moving too fast for everyone else to keep up.

Also, Raymie almost comes out and tells Kenny he's a dupe for believing Kat would leave Qasim for him in the space of a single night, just like that. In any other book there might be something there, but there's no way L/J would try to do a Hattie 2 with Kat, making her an easy floozy who tempts the virtuous men. Is there?

Pg. 170:

'I've known you for almost a week now, and I've never seen you sad.' Something terrible must be up.

Or maybe it's been more than a week. Other than the '93 Years Later' caption about a hundred pages back, there haven't been any explicit updates about the passage of time. Just offhand references to it now being night, or the next morning, or a couple days later.

Pg. 170-174: More ink than would seem warranted has been given to Kat's desire to transfer out of the athletics part of COT and towards the actual ministry. Here we get a few more pages before she finally goes to meet Chloe and discuss it.

Which is par for the course of the series, of course. Have the characters talk about what they want to do and how they plan to do it, and then show them doing it or trying to do it. Padding, padding, padding. There's more padding in these books than in all the bras of the world.

Pg. 175-177, 178-180: CASE IN POINT! After a dozen or so pages (all told) of Abdullah traveling around, trying to figure out how to look younger so he can infiltrate TOL and rehashing his problems trying to do so, we now have a few more pages of discussion as Abdullah tells his wife that Jesus has directly told him that he's not supposed to sneak into TOL, he's supposed to go right up to them and offer to be their chaplain. And if they refuse, then he's supposed to sit outside their headquarters (the headquarters of an organization that, we have been told, is underground and distrustful of outsiders) and offer advice to anyone trying to join.

Nevermind the questions of if this idea even makes sense (it doesn't), let me raise and answer this question: you know what would have been a better way to present this new command Abdullah has received? ACTUALLY SHOWING HIM DO IT! Now, I'm sure when I get further ahead in the book we'll see or be told what his first steps to become the TOLer's chaplain are like/were like. We'll see (or be told about) him going up to some people he's identified as belong to TOL, his conversation with them, their response, maybe him setting up a table right outside their meeting place and waiting for curious minds to approach him so he can start his work saving souls.

In short, we'll see him actually go about doing what God wants of him, after several pages of him talking to his wife about what he plans to do. These several pages bring nothing to the table, they tell us nothing about the characters, and they are completely pointless. Padding.

Pg. 177-178, 180-182: Meanwhile, some actual plot is going forward as Chloe confronts Kat with a memo from the latter's superior, accusing her of shirking responsibilities and having no work ethic. Kat denies it, they call in said superior (Mattie) and Mattie explains the memo is a forgery.

Didn't something like this happen earlier in the series? Wasn't Rayford wrongfully accused of proselytizing to his coworkers, and that was part of someone's trick to get him fired? Jenkins is just using his old ideas.

Also, Mattie is described as

Short hair? Into sports? Given Jenkins' reliance on stereotypes, those would be clues she's actually a lasbian, were this taking place earlier in the series. Maybe he's trying to sneak something in? Probably not.

And 'laughing eyes'? That's the second time Jenkins has used that description within the space of less than a hundred pages. It's not the worst piece of description, but it's not good enough to use this often.

Pg. 182-186: Ray and co. stop for the night, setting up a campfire (so there are campfires!), and Tsion rehashes a part of his escape from Israel, something that happened earlier in the series and was already shown back then.

This section would seem to be more pointless padding, but it does actually lead to something: Tsion got through one checkpoint because a guard saw him but let him go, telling him point blank that he was going to falsify his report. But then Chaim mentions seeing the same guy later in the series and being helped by him (I don't remember if this actually happened and I'm not going back to check). They all wonder if this was a coincidence or if the guard was sent by God.

Then the guard appears.

The moon, remember, now shines as bright as the sun. So I'm not exactly sure why he seems like a silhouette rather than being perfectly visible. They're not in a cave, are they?

And speaking of the new SuperMoon, it shining as bright as the sun means the stars are forever invisible. There's probably no need for astronomy now, but even the simple pleasure of stargazing is gone. All those heavenly bodies are rendered pointless (assuming there's no life on the other planets out there), and the entire universe is a big empty ball that serves no purpose.

Makes you wonder why God even created the cosmos if they were eventually to be hidden from view. It also makes me wonder if anyone on Earth misses the constellations, misses tracking Venus or Mars going across the night's sky, misses the inherent wonder of looking up at something so vast and inspirational and terrifying.

Pg. 188: Chloe, Kenny, Kat, and for some reason Bahira (one of the other members of the Millennium 'Force') are meeting to discuss something or other, and Chloe states:

So we finally have some explanation of why 80 and 90-year olds are being treated like teenagers. Not that we're told which part of the Bible says this, and not that it makes up for waiting so long into the book to mention this. It's almost like Jenkins was writing and he suddenly realized 'Hey wait, did I explain why they're still treated like kids?'

Pg. 188-189: Chloe again, on the subject of Raymie being upset with Zaki about the Qasim problem:

Stilted, unrealistic dialogue aside, I'm perturbed that we get another major question addressed this late in the book. Not that the answer is satisfactory as an explanation. Why are emotions different in heaven? And what does "love sans complication" mean? That no one is selfish or demanding or self-conscious?

Alan Moore gave us a better explanation of superhuman love during his time on Miracleman:

Contrast and compare, kiddies.

Pg. 189: Chloe gently browbeats the other three a bit more, telling them what they should already know: that the Millennium 'Force' should try to figure out what's causing the rebellion against God since Satan has no power. And the scene ends with:

Well you are the mother of one of them, and you just said a page previous that they're supposed to be treated like children, so what's the problem?

Pg. 190-192: Qasim, the guy who's only appeared a couple times but who has set off so much of the plot already, appears again, having made the journey from Israel to Jordan (or wherever) in the space of I guess a couple hours (because at the start of the chapter Kat spoke as if Qasim had been at work that day and she was avoiding him) and has already found Abdullah (maybe the latter's son told him where he was staying?). Anyway, Qasim tells Abdullah he's infiltrated TOL "at the international level" and can direct him to the leaders in wherever they are. Abdullah explains his plans to be upfront with the TOLers, shrugging off the "you'll be killed" answer as saying he'll be protected by God.

More questions raised:

1) Does TOL have a specific power/managerial structure? Considering that one's years of service in the organization are divinely limited, wouldn't it make more sense for TOL to be a loose confederation of various cells scattered around the world, each focusing on spreading rebellion in their own sphere of influence? What's the value or purpose of setting up a centralized power structure?

2) Does Abdullah even have to worry? He doesn't have a glorified body, but can believers die in the MK? What if, for example, he walks into their secret headquarters and says "Hey, I'm a believer in Christ and I'm here to bug you guys until you convert." and they respond by shooting him? Would he die? Would God strike them down with lightning before they can pull the trigger? Have other believers died during the past 93 years, either by accident or murder?

Pg. 192-193: Kenny gets another message from the TOLers, demanding strategic information. I'm not sure if Kenny has given them anything yet. I don't remember reading anything like that. I'm not even sure what information TOL would want. It's not like the believers are hiding in the shadows, keeping off the radar, keeping their plans secret. Just send someone to COT, ask Chloe or CamCam some questions, and they'll be upfront. They probably can't lie (not even by omission), being glorified and all.

Pg. 195-196: Chloe and Mattie decide to let the false memo thing die down as just an ill-conceived prank, but not until after Chloe has talked to several people about it, which sets off a series of rumors and whatnot. As Mattie says: "Everybody is talking about it, pointing fingers, the whole bit."

In another book that line could have led into a story of people becoming suspicious of one another, long-simmering resentments and jealousies coming to a head as accusations are thrown around and baseless charges made, people trying to undermine their rivals in the eyes of others. Maybe something like The Crucible, fear of an invisible subversive element leading to paranoia and distrust. After a while people, maybe Chloe and CamCam, try to bring everyone in line by requiring loyalty oaths to Jesus, or people are made to prove their faith and allegiance in ever-demanding ways, and eventually COT turns into a little slice of dystopia founded on everyone watching everyone else, trying to spot moments of anti-Christ feelings that need to be purged or 'treated.' People slowly going insane, jumping at shadows, never speaking for fear of being misunderstood and sent off for 'rehabilitation.'

Of course, this is Jerry Jenkins writing. He can't go through with something so grim, and certainly not when the story is set in a nigh-utopia. But I have to wonder at how so many workers can be 'pointing fingers' at each other when this is supposedly as friendly and genial a place to live/work as a Flanders family reunion.

Pg. 196-197:

We've been told what Abdullah planned to do, now we've been told that he's going to do it, then we'll be told he's doing it, then we'll be told he did it.

Pg. 197-200: It's becoming rare to have a scene that lasts more than just a page or so. Here, Kenny meets with Raymie to discuss Qasim (the Millennium 'Force' is still distancing themselves from him) and Kenny being contacted by the TOLers. The idea of slipping them false information is raised, and I ask again what information TOL would want from people 'on the inside' at COT to begin with, and to what purpose would false information do any good? Kenny and Raymie admit the only real goal is to prevent undecideds from siding with TOL; how they go about disrupting TOL's plans is never made clear or even proposed.

And they also talk about Raymie and Bahira and the non-romance thing they don't have going on. A problem here is that neither Raymie or Bahira have been given their own moments in the spotlight. The focus of the book has been jumping around between Ray, Abdullah and Kenny (with occasional asides to CamCam and Chloe). The idea that Raymie and Bahira may have any kind of unique friendship was only brought up a few pages ago, a complete shock to anyone reading this since it came out of the blue without any hints leading up to it.

But as quickly as it's brought up, it's smacked down here, when Raymie talks about angering Qasim and Zaki:

First off: 'mutual admiration society'? NOBODY TALKS LIKE THAT!

Second, I believe this is the second time we've had glorified people talking about feelings for one another in a weird, 'off' way. At the start of the book we had Chloe and CamCam say things like "I still love and admire and respect you and want to be near you."

You know what's missing in that quote, and Raymie's 'admire and respect and 'truly' love each other' quote? The word 'care.' Chloe and CamCam don't say they care about one another. Raymie can't bring himself to say he cares about Bahira. It's 'respect,' or 'admire.' Feelings that can be reciprocated, yes, but which often only go one way. Where is the connection of emotion between either pair? Does Chloe's sadness hurt CamCam? Does joy spring in Bahira's heart when Raymie triumphs in some way? What real emotion connects either pair, stronger and more powerful than the general sense of happiness I might feel if I'm told a stranger managed to beat cancer?

I've been dying to link to this clip, because this almost perfectly sums up my impression of the 'glorified' people like CamCam, Chloe, Raymie, and Bahira, and their muted, withered shadows of emotion.

Pg. 197-198: When Raymie tells Kenny about meeting with Qasim and telling him pointblank he doesn't work with or for Millennium 'Force', Kenny asks:

Maybe he's angry because you guys are just dicking around, not doing anything of value and he's showing you up by actually making a plan and following through on it.

Pg. 198-199:

And he goes on to tell Raymie that he's discussed Millennium 'Force' business with her, getting her thoughts on the subject even though she's not a member. But I can't get past the fact that, as far as I can tell, we're still just a week or two (at most) since Kat and Kenny first met. And he's already talking about marriage! What the hell? Either Kenny is ridiculously naive when it comes to romance, or he knows what kind of book he's in and he knows Jenkins never has relationships go through any real rockiness or upsets, or it's been more than two weeks and Jenkins is just terrible at letting us know that months or longer have passed.

But considering Ray is still in Egypt (Osaze) and Abdullah still hasn't even started his mission in earnest, I think it has been only a couple weeks.

Pg. 201-202: CamCam is told Joshua and Caleb will be coming by tomorrow. If this is anything like Noah's visit, it'll just be padding.

Pg. 202-203: I don't care to type up the whole thing, but we get a couple paragraphs of Abdullah walking to the TOLers secret headquarters. The only thing we actually learn here is that their headquarters is labeled 'Theological Training Institute.'

Pg. 203: Then we get a paragraph of people finding out Joshua and Caleb will be coming by COT.

Pg. 204: Kenny meets with Qasim (wow, it's almost like he's an actual character in this story), who mentions he won't be there to see Joshua and Caleb tomorrow. Making this the second time he's missed a VIP's visit, which should get Kenny and others asking more questions about his true loyalties. Or at least ask him what's so important that he can't change his plans.

Hell, even if they think Qasim is lying to them, at least try to trap him in his lies. Make him give some story now and then try to trip him up later. Don't just take what he says as if at face value and then let the matter die. Which, of course, is what Kenny does.

Pg. 206-207: CamCam and Chloe say a lot of nothing about the pending visit tomorrow. Chloe claims that even as a nonbeliever she "enjoyed memories of those stories," 'those stories' referring to the tales she heard at Sunday school. Yeah, because teeens and adults just love hearing about guys walking around fortresses playing trumpets. So thrilling.

And there's a little retread of "Looking back, I hate how I went away from God, but I'm glad I'm here now and we have this ministry to make up for losing our son and God is so good." Just hammering into the ground the point that's been made before.

Pg. 205-206, 207-213: Meanwhile, Abdullah is finally meeting with the TOLers in the area, a pair of dwarves (hey, don't blame me; Jenkins describes that they're both short and little else of their physical appearance) who like to dress in camo fatigues. Abdullah explains to them that he's there to offer his services as a minister, and for whatever reason (probably to shut him up) they give him a desk in their office.

Call it diminished expectations, but I like this scene; if only because something is actually happening here instead of having characters talk about what they plan to do. It's not perfect, by any means, but it's competent and serviceable, which is a step up for the series.

But there's a couple problems:

Now, correct me if I'm wrong here, but couldn't the apostles be out walking the Earth, ministering to people? Wasn't that, like, their entire thing ? Not building arks, not waging wars, but evangelizing and spreading the Word of God.

So why haven't they gone to the TOLers? Why are they staying in Israel?

Also, once Abdullah gets his spot in the office the TOLers go back to work on their next newsletter, and tell him, not in so many words, to slag off:

In business news today, the entire Irony Meter industry collapsed in upon itself under the overwhelming gravitational force of a character written by Jerry Jenkins admonishing others for waging war against straw men. Attempts to construct new irony meters by hand have met with unproductive results, as any newly completed irony meter immediately takes its own life.

Pg. 215-216: Joshua and Caleb have arrived, and CamCam decides to subject them to a recitation from the kids of some Scripture.

Oh, wow. Jenkins is opening the door to a look at how life is so radically different for people that lived thousands of years ago.

Turn the page, and...

Uh, what? No discussion of how Joshua had to learn what electricity is? Nothing about Solomon figuring out how a television works, or the concept of advertising? Nothing at all?

And...the children are different?

Anyway, the kids recite a passage concerning the people who are there to talk to them, which strikes me like meeting Abraham Lincoln and saying "You were the 16th President!" And he just replies "Yes, I know. I was there."

Pg. 216-230: 14 pages of Joshua and Caleb recounting what's in the Bible. Interesting bit on page 223: "Joshua sent out two men to spy secretly on Jericho. So they went and come to the house of a harlot named Rahab and lodged there." I'm not sure how I feel about the fact that they're not trying to clean up the story for children.

And on page 229:

Yes, children, we dashed the skulls of the babies against rocks. We ripped the unborn from the womb and strangled them with their own umbilical cords. We piled the heads of the men and women until it reached as high as the tallest parapet. ::hold for applause::

Pg. 231-234: Abdullah talks to Sarsour, one of the two TOLers. His first argument is the one everyone in this series should make to anyone in TOL: there's all the prophecies that came true, the people who came back from heaven, and the fact that Jesus is on Earth. He doesn't even mention that Jesus answers prayers directly, but even without that point it's clear to anyone with a brainstem that TOL or any other movement is doomed to failure.

Sarsour can only reply with vagueness, saying "...as soon as I started reading other stuff and talking to other people, I realized the Bible isn't the only idea," or "It's like He's head of the occupying army. We're the resistance, that's all. The rebels." And when confronted with the 'you're going to lose in the end' argument, he says "We're outnumbered. We're the outcasts, the rejects, the dregs. But we won't give up hope until its all over. And then we'll see who wins."

Regardless of what the reader believes in real life, it's been established that this series takes place in a universe where God is real, the Bible is 100% true, and Jesus wins in the end. I've said before it's difficult to imagine a realistic, a plausible countermovement springing up in an age where Jesus walks the Earth, where people who had gone to heaven are back on this planet. Other than stubbornness or rank stupidity, there aren't any real counterarguments. Not unless the books wanted to be satire or some form of comedy. A Flat Earth Atheist can work in Discworld because that's a comedy series; it's not meant to be taken at face value. But Sarsour and everyone else in TOL is operating on the idea that they can deny the last couple prophecies to come true after so many other prophecies have already happened in literal fashion. So when Sarsour says "there's other ideas out there" Jenkins demonstrates he doesn't care to present a realistic enemy. He can't be bothered.

And then we have the "we're the guerilla forces" idea. God's an occupier in the world He created? TOLers are rebels? For what? Rebellions aren't just a matter of overthrowing a dictator or occupying force; there's a next step that involves replacing the old guard with something new. But TOL apparently have no idea what they'd put in place if God actually was driven away, because their would-be leader (Satan) can't talk to them and quite possibly has no idea he still has any followers on Earth. I can't see how they'd attract many followers when their sales pitch is "OK, we'll oppose the all-powerful creator of this world, die at 100, and then when Satan comes back he'll somehow overthrow God and then we'll have something better than we have now. What, I don't know."

After the rebel talk the conversation veers into 'How can God be all-loving when He kills people for not believing?' territory. Fortunately, a small blessing, we're not given the standard 'God loves you so much he came to Earth and was crucified for your sins' spiel. Instead, Abdullah dives into his own conversion story and the chapter ends there.

Despite my complaints above, that part works.

Pg. 235:

Wait a minute! About 40 pages ago he was bringing up the idea of marriage, saying it's "certainly in our future," and they're just now kissing?

And he's trying to get in touch with Bruce, the pastor who officiated at his parents' wedding. Gee, I wonder what he's going to ask him...

Pg. 236: That fake memo about Kat is brought up again, as an unsigned note claims Kenny left it there. Which makes perfect sense, of course. Yeah.

Pg. 236-238: Back to Abdullah, who seems to be winning over the two TOLers by being loving and patient and not pushing. This whole sequence seems so out of place from the rest of the series, which relied on people like Ray or Buck saying "Look! You know this is all true, you know God exists, so stop being an idiot and listen to me! If you don't, you're going to hell!" Abdullah actually seems to be behaving like (gasp!) a real Christian, someone who's read the New Testament and Jesus' admonitions to love thy enemy. Like I say, completely at odds with the rest of the series, and now I'm starting to wonder if Jenkins isn't just setting this all up to pull the rug out later; maybe have the two TOLers beat and rob Abdullah after they've gained his trust, and then they die at 100 and it was all for naught.

The moral being self-righteousness and threats are better than meekness and patience. That would be more in line with the rest of the series.

Pg. 240:

Well, popping the question only a couple weeks after you met her does sound dramatic.

Really, this whole idea that their relationship could progress to the point of discussions about marriage after just a couple weeks undermines the entire "People age much slower in the MK/80-year olds are like teenagers" idea that the TOL storyline is reliant on.

Pg. 241: The Millennium 'Force' meets to say nothing (Qasim and Zaki are still unhappy and everyone agrees Kenny should try to get closer to TOL; wait, has he even done anything to get close to them yet, or has it all been Qasim?), then Kenny and Bruce stop playing phone tag:

Seems like a nice touch now, but it'll get creepy fast when Kenny insists that Kat wear his mother's wedding dress and a blonde wig...

Because it's in THE FUTURE and technology is so much more ADVANCED but we can't elaborate HOW!

Pg. 242-243: Chloe shows Kat and Kenny the note.

TWO! WEEKS! I have seen drunk men who think their waitress at Hooters is into him because she touched his shoulder move slower than Kenny is.

Pg. 245-252: More with Abdullah and Sarsour, as Abdullah talks about his wife's conversion and his being saved after the rapture. Sarsour is now in the 'Why would God care about me?' and 'Why aren't you talking to the undecided' arguments, which are certainly more realistic than the idea of overthrowing God.

Plus, Abdullah points out that if Satan had the power to overthrow God, it would have happened during the rebellion. Instead, he lost and was sent to hell. Basic logic, and Sarsour doesn't give an answer in return.

I think the reason this book (and the other books, after it becomes more than clear that God exists) fall so short of logic is that Jenkins is still trying to write the bad guys as being atheists, rather than antitheists. There's a distinction there, and the problem is that atheists actually exist and it's possible Jenkins has met one or two, whereas antitheists aren't exactly common. Not believing in God makes more sense than believing in Him and rejecting Him.

The TOLers are all antitheists, and when they talk about God being vindictive or cruel, the book approaches solid ground. But most of the time, with talk of somehow overthrowing God, it's like Jenkins is writing with his idea of atheists in mind; people who don't really disbelieve in God, but say they don't even though they (and everyone else) 'knows' God exists and they hope to replace Him with evolution or some other faith (as Jenkins sees it). It creates a muddled mess, TOL has no clear agenda or plan, and we get little more than strawmen as villains.

Pg. 252-253: Kenny's finally gotten off his ass to do something about spying on TOL by going to Paris to meet those two guys from the funeral way back when.

Such as...? Really, I'm asking again, what secret information does TOL want on COT, and what secret information is COT afraid of TOL finding out? Is there a small drain in their outer defenses that, if blown up, could leave them wide open to attack? Is there a goat path winding through the mountains that COT has neglected to defend? What is COT trying to keep secret?

Pg. 253: It's been a while since we checked in on Rayford, the hero of the series who has nothing to do in this book. He and Bruce are chatting one night, and Bruce mentions missing darkness, bringing up what I mentioned earlier: the loss of stargazing or quiet moonlit nights. Ray can only counter with "Men love darkness rather than light because their deeds are evil." Except who said anything about preferring darkness to light? Can't you enjoy both?

Pg. 255-256: Kenny lands in Paris (is this the first time he's ever been away from home? Is he going to embarrass himself like some stereotypical rube visiting a big city for the first time?) and Kat calls him to tell him David will be the next Biblical figure to visit COT. So more padding, I take it. And for some reason the staff are to tell no one, warned that if even one 'outsider' shows up the visit is off.

Why the secrecy? Who constitutes an 'outsider'? Oh, and Qasim is missing this meeting again, WHICH IS HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS! But they won't do anything except talk about it.

Pg. 256-258: The Amman TOLers are getting some visitors from France, and Abdullah has to argue with Mudawar (the second of the two) about whether he'll be in the office when they show up. Nothing much here, but it does advance the plot.

I'll say it again: the Abdullah stuff (since he actually met the TOLers) has been serviceable and something is actually happening. I'd much rather the book had focused on him and his attempts to minister to antitheists.

Pg. 258-263: Kenny meets with Lothair and Ignace, who are apparently the leaders of TOL (or high-ranking).

Because it's Paris, so... cafes.

They explain in necessary detail the TOLers strategy of offering drugs and booze to lure away undecideds and then trying to win them over intellectually. Kenny, prompted by God to go on the offensive and prove his commitment to their cause, points out it's ridiculous to create generations of junkies and drunks to someday stand against God (or as Kenny calls them 'dopers and alkies;' who uses the word 'alkies'?). Which apparently never occurred to the TOLers, who pride themselves on their intellectual strength. So they have to take Kenny's idea of using intellectual reason as an opening salvo of attack.

They also show that they have staff records from COT, including their addresses and salaries. What they plan to do with this information, I don't know. Why they even show it off, I don't know. When Kenny asks, he says "What can you do with it? You going to start assassinating these people? You know they're invulnerable, even the naturals." Even the naturals? Is he bluffing or is this true, because it's never been explained whether the saved are incapable of dying. What about feeling pain?

And then they invite Kenny to Jordan with them, so now both plot threads are converging.

Pg. 263: Meanwhile, Mudawar is telling Sarsour and Abdullah the plan is to tell the TOL high brass that they invited Abdullah in there to try to convert them, keeping him off the streets and away from any undecideds. This plan could actually work if Abdullah was capable of lying (which he isn't, it seems; or he just won't).

Pg. 265-273: King David visits COT and tells his story. Wanna know how blatant this padding gets? At one point David says:

None of this has any bearing on the story, but I'm sure if I looked it up in the Bible I'll see that mentioned there. It's like Jenkins just CTRL+C and V'd part of the Bible and added in a couple "The children all laughed" or "The children all gasped" to break the monotony. (But he doesn\'t say 'Now kids, who knows what an 'ephah' is?')

And he can't even do it properly:

Why does he jump between the Biblical style speech and the colloquial 'What have I done now?' and then back again.

And then David teaches the children a prayer (which I'm assuming is a Psalm):

Look back and he's gone.

Pg. 275:

I'm quite interested in seeing what's actually in the Louvre, assuming all the paintings and sculptures previously housed there were most likely destroyed during the Tribulation.

Pg. 276:

What, does the MK have some kind of space-jumpsuit dress code and the TOLers defy it? Please, Jerry, please for the love all that is good about literature and storytelling don't just assume your reader can peer into your mind's eye and see and what you're seeing as you imagine this. Please explain what this stuff is!

Pg. 276-277: As they arrive Ignace fills Kenny in on the Jordan branch of TOL:

Why are free speech laws still different in the various countries? Why hasn't Jesus made any rulings about what generally is or is not acceptable? Why are there still countries when you have a singular leadership role in the form of God as man?

Pg. 277:

Blog! That's a computer term, right? Futuristic!

Pg. 277-278:

ARRRRRRRRGH! OK! OK! OK! WE GET IT! QASIM IS SUSPICIOUS! YOU HAVE DRIVEN THAT INTO THE GROUND SO HARD IT HAS COME OUT THE OTHER SIDE! DAMMIT, MOVE ON! DO SOMETHING WITH THIS IDEA OR JUST LET IT DIE!

Pg. 280-282: After enough time-wasting and going in circles, we finally get Kenny et al arriving at the Amman TOL headquarters, and Abdullah is there. He freaks out when he sees Kenny is with the group, and sneaks away undetected and runs home without trying to get any other information. As an Idiot Plot dictates, he doesn't try to contact Kenny's parents and he can't get in touch with his children, so he calls Qasim and we FINALLY get some movement on that plot as Qasim tells him the other infiltrator in TOL has turned and is now a bad guy (who he never names, and he doesn't allow Abdullah to name Kenny because... perhaps because he's not talking about Kenny and we're only meant to think he's trying to cover his own tracks by implicating Kenny).

By this point (when we have, what? 70 pages before the book is done) they need to either bite the bullet and have Qasim reveal himself as a turncoat, or they explain that There's a Perfectly Logical Explanation For All This and someone else is the traitor. Considering the only characters besides Qasim are Kat, Kenny, or the glorified people, there really isn't any mystery. Kat's the only one who could conceivably be the real turncoat, but after all this build-up to make it so clear that it's Qasim, it would be pathetic to actually try to pull a swerve and have it be her.

Pg. 282-284: Kenny explains to the Amman TOL the idea of recruiting the smart and clever people to TOL by appealing to their intellect, instead of tempting them with drugs and booze. For the second time we're told he's having a crisis of conscience over the possibility of helping the enemy become more efficient and attracting a smarter following. Not a bad idea, but let's see if Jenkins goes anywhere with it. Will Kenny feel any lasting guilt for his role in helping TOL? Will he become obsessed with ministering to as many people as he can to redeem himself that he shuns his friends and family, wandering the Earth alone with his guilt?

Probably not.

Pg. 285-292: Kenny arrives back from his travels and he's greeted by Kat's parents, who tell him an emergency meeting of "their little group" has been called. He tries to call Kat and the other members of the Millennium 'Force', but just gets their answering machines. He finally reaches his mother and she tells him the office has been vandalized and another 'crazy report' had been received.

That's two pages of Kenny getting hints of something big happening and no specific details. Fuck you, Jenkins, just fuck you. People are already reading your book, you don't need to be so blatant this late in it to keep their attention and string them along like this, giving them nothing except 'Oh, something bad happened. I can't talk about it over the phone.'

So Kenny goes to the normal Millennium 'Force' meeting place, where Qasim has already given the others the damning evidence of an email 'Kenny' sent to the Paris TOLers going in detail about all his schemes at COT (breaking into his mother's study, stringing along Kat, the fake memos) and basically gloating about how no one suspects a thing.

You know, the in-depth admission of duplicity criminals and other ne'er-do-wells ALWAYS repeat in their letters and phone calls and conversations with their cohorts. Even if it's a simple "Hey, looking forward to seeing you guys in Paris next week" letter like this email is.

No one believes Kenny, of course, because Qasim has worked so hard to win over the rest of the Millennium 'Force' this entire time-- Oh wait, I'm sorry. No. Only one of them has trusted Qasim until now, the others thought he was brash, creepy, and untrustworthy.

Feeling alone because no one trusts him now, Kenny prays to Jesus, essentially asking "At least you trust me, right?"

'Hey Jesus, could you tell my friends and family this isn't how it looks?' This is like how in time travel stories the heroes never remember they have a time machine and they can just go back to prevent anything bad from happening. Here you have a direct, personal landline to God, and no one thinks to ask Him about what's going on?

Oh, and then as Kenny goes outside the TOLers drive by, asking for directions, and they take a picture of the girl kissing Kenny. More bad news, I'm sure. Next he's going to inadvertently punch Kat's grandmother right in the mouth, accidentally erase COT's hard drive and run over Kat's pet dog.

So yes, folks, after about 250 pages of the Millennium 'Force' saying "We need to infiltrate TOL, we need to get someone on the inside," they immediately turn on their mole and suspect him of all kinds of misdeeds based on the words of the brash hothead they repeatedly told off and vehemently denied was a member of their group. Why? Because these people have the collective IQ of a handicapped turnip.

Pg. 293-294: We open with Kenny talking to his parents. Chloe believes him but CamCam (despite recognizing just how too conveniently incriminating the letter is) has doubts.

Wait, you took a printout and were able to figure out which PC it came from? Whaaaaaa? What the? What? Just... what?

Is there some detail about this memo that we weren't told? It's just a regular piece of paper, right? How can you tell which printer it came from? I've had a couple printers in my life, I've printed tons of paper for school and whatnot, I don't know any special 'fingerprint' on any of those sheets. Am I missing something?

This is Kenny's personal PC, right? At his home? Not something on a shared network?

Pg. 296: Kenny's told he's been suspended from his duties at COT.

Oh right! The spiritual power of... getting a lot of people to pray... and Jesus will... say something? I'm so confused. Why can't the three of them there, father and mother and son, pray to Jesus right now and ask Him if He'll shed light on the matter? What's this 'We need to gather the spiritual warriors and unite their energy into a prayer powerful enough to reach Jesus!' bullshit? And what's this 'They'd have to see all the evidence' bullshit? Just say "Kenny has been accused of betraying our ministry, of turning against God, and of aiding the enemy. He denies these claims and asserts that the evidence against him is fabricated by the true traitor in our midst. We need to ask God to grant us wisdom, so that justice can be served, the innocent acquitted and the guilty condemned."

Because the real traitor (we're assuming Qasim, right? Because having it be Kat would be too interesting) is getting away scotfree as long as Kenny takes the heat. Does that not occur to anyone else here?

Pg. 296-297: Kenny writes some emails to the Millennium 'Force' and Kat. In the latter he writes:

Of those two weeks.

Pg. 299:

JESUS! CAN YOU TELL MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY THAT I'M INNOCENT?

Pg. 299-300, 301-302: Back to Abdullah again. The Amman TOLers took his vanishing act as generosity on his part so as to not embarrass them in front of the TOL high command. No idea where this is going and the scene ends before anything of substance can be established.

Pg. 303: Oh yeah, Rayford's in this book. He's still in Egypt/Osaze, still traveling and ministering. In fact, this whole chapter seems devoted to him.

Pg. 304:

OH COME ON! This book was published in 2007. Nobody uses fax machines anymore. What happened to their cellphone implants? Is there no broadband?

Pg. 305: Ray and company pray for Kenny. Not for him to be proven innocent, but that he have strength to endure:

and

That's a fifth and a sixth time she's given no name.

Pg. 306-316: Something finally happens, as Rayford is kidnapped and taken to an underground prison. This part is also serviceable as something is actually happening and the speed of the plot makes it difficult for padding or too much God-awful dialogue.

Except... the entire mindset of the kidnappers. They're not part of TOL, they belong to The Only Light. Yes, they are convinced that God does not exist, but that Satan does. And that Satan imprisoned himself for a thousand years to prove some kind of point, and then he'll free himself to kill the people who believe in a non-existent God that nevertheless manages to kill non-believers at the age of 100.

They're morons, in other words, and Ray actually calls them idiots right to their face. Don't you just love it when the villains of a dramatic thriller are so ridiculous that they don't even have a comeback to the hero calling them out for being so monumentally stupid?

Also, from page 312

Third time I've seen that piece of descriptive prose used now.

Pg. 319: Rayford is surprised that a 90-year has a son. SHE'S 90, YOU IDIOT! How old were you when you had kids?

Pg. 319-322: Something more happens with Abdullah's story, as Mudawar, as thanks for his absence, offers him a chance to speak to the prospective TOLers and preach to them. When Abdullah mentions that he saw Kenny there is going to have to expose him to COT, Mudawar threatens to use video footage of Abdullah to make it seem like he's flipped.

Nevermind that he doesn't have any actual footage ready, just that he feels confident he'll be able to find something in their archives that makes it seem like Abdullah is friendly with them and has turned. And nevermind that Abdullah is over 100, and thus has obviously not forsaken God. Apparently this doesn't mean he can't sin, and the fact that he doesn't wear the proper robes(?) or speak Hebrew(?) means something, but damned if I know what.

Pg. 323-327: Abdullah is now in a haze, wondering if his whole plan to preach directly to TOL was God's intention or his own idea. While out getting the morning coffee and snack for the other two, wondering if he should even be nice to the men attacking him like this, Sarsour approaches him and tells him about visiting his parents, feeling the presence of God, and asking Abdullah to pray with him as he converts.

So I was right and wrong: Abdullah was betrayed by one of them, but not both, and it's as if L/J wanted to show patience and love winning out somehow. It's still out of character for the series, but considering that Abdullah's thread has been the only consistently competent one, that's a minor gripe.

Oh, and also Sarsour tells him that Qasim is the traitor, which has been telegraphed for so long I'm just glad it's finally done with.

Pg. 322-323, 327-328, 329: Meanwhile, Kat is going to meet with Kenny and apologize for doubting him. At least she did it on her own, instead of after Kenny was completely cleared of wrongdoing. There's no "Oh, I'm such an idiot girl who can't even think straight!" moment like when Chloe thought CamCam was hitting on her while engaged.

Pg. 331-340: Rayford converts his guard, who gets locked up with him. At midnight the angel that they met earlier in the book appears and frees all of the prisoners. Many of the guards follow them out and convert as well. Nothing to comment on here as, with Ray's kidnapping, it's straightforward action with competent prose.

Pg. 340:

Considering how little pagetime he got, despite how much of an impact on the plot he had, I'm not surprised that he's dispatched with so curtly here.

Pg. 340-342: Now the story skips ahead several hundred years? until all the 'natural' characters are too old and feeble to take care of themselves. Can't say I feel too comforted by the idea of spending 1000 years incapable of dying, but aging slowly while surrounded by friends and loved ones who don't age at all. Guess I just don't understand God's sense of humor.

Then at a party close to the end of the Millennium Ray meets all the other characters from the series who didn't warrant being included in the final book.

Pg. 343: The Last Day of the Millennium, we're told.

Pg. 345: After a couple pages describing all the armaments and military might TOL has built up, we're told

What, did Jesus go on sabbatical and stop answering prayers?

Pg. 346: We're told of how vast the TOL military is, surrounding Jerusalem and standing ready to wage war as soon as Satan is released.

Yeaaaaaaah, about that... I see there's only about eight pages left here, so pardon me if I don't expect some grand Lord of the Rings-epic sequence.

Pg. 347: Satan appears, gives the command to charge, and Jesus simply says "I AM WHO I AM." And then flames come down and destroy all the TOL forces in an instant. Fight's over.

Pg. 348-349: Then Jesus condemns Satan some more, which I'm pretty sure he did at the end of the last book anyway, and then sends him back to hell.

Pg. 349-351: All the 'naturals' are glorified and taken up to heaven, the sea and Death and Hades give up their dead. Jesus lists all their deeds, sends the bad to hell and the good are saved.

Pg. 352-54: Jesus creates another new Earth (this is, what, the third? Or was what happened at the start of this book just a rebuilding of the world?), which is apparently heaven? I guess? It's a physical place, a city is described, so I guess it's a new Earth within heaven.

And everyone goes into eternity and the book ends.

And then there's a note from Tim LaHaye, talking about being called to God to write these books, that he and Jenkins believe this is an accurate portrayal of what will happen, and saying that people have been led to God by this series.

And then the book ends.

Oh, and there's an ad for Jerry Jenkins' writing course. No. Thank. You. Do not want.

END?